I grew up in a family that is neither religious nor atheistic. I cannot remember when our family went to any church to worship God. However, as a kid, I attended Sunday school in a church next to our house. I still remember the songs I learned and the Bible stories I heard. But that is all about it. When I entered elementary school, I became confused about my religion and which group to join for Bible studies or religious gatherings.
I was neither the black sheep nor the angel in our family. Being the eldest among six children, I usually got punished whenever I failed to do my responsibilities or when there were quarrels among my brothers and sisters. I started then to rebel against my parents but I kept all my bitter feelings and violent thoughts inside me. I simply could not stow away because I wanted to achieve something. And then I began to wonder about my existence - about the meaning and purpose of my life. I did not fear death because I believed that it would end my problems and suffering.
During my second year in high school, I got involved in Bible studies held every Thursday afternoon. On September 28, 1978, I was touched by the message given to me by our Bible study leader who was our school nurse. She talked about man's sinfulness and that the penalty for his disobedience is death. However, Christ who is sinless died on the cross to pay the penalty. I was struck most by the verses on Ephesians 2:8-9 which say, "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast." I also realized that Jesus came so that I may have life and have it abundantly as He promised. That same day at around 6:00 in the afternoon, I asked Jesus to forgive my sins and invited Him to come into my life through prayer.
I thought becoming a Christian was enough. Later I realized that I was not growing as a committed Christian because I did not allow Christ to take control of every detail of my life. During my first year in college, I actively involved myself in a Christian organization. With the assurance of my salvation and a new meaning and purpose, I began to share my faith with others. I still do not fear death not because it is a scapegoat from reality but because I now have eternal life as promised to all who receive Christ. I still encounter problems (much more difficult ones) but Christ has given me peace and assurance that He will never leave me nor forsake me. I pray that God will be glorified in everything I do and that my life will also be a blessing to others.
